Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.
escalators are better than elevators because when escalators break they turn into stairs but when elevators break they turn into vertical coffins
row row row your boat gently away from me
Merrily merrily merrily merrily please just fuckin leave
men love “fat asses” and big titties but act like those things commonly exist naturally on thin women and they “don’t count” when accompanied by a jiggly belly and thick thighs
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